


And The Same For You

by Goodchampagneandprivateplanes



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Angst, Comfort/Angst, Cuddling & Snuggling, Drama, Hurt/Comfort, In Bed, Insecure Louis, Internal Conflict, Internal Monologue, M/M, Quiet Harry, Sad Louis, together
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-17
Updated: 2016-05-17
Packaged: 2018-06-09 03:11:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,117
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6887209
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Goodchampagneandprivateplanes/pseuds/Goodchampagneandprivateplanes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I hope one day you're as happy as you're pretending to be."</p>
            </blockquote>





	And The Same For You

It wasn’t the first time Louis had broken down in front of Harry. Hell, it wasn’t even the first time this month. And, for the record, it was only the tenth. Recently, Louis had had quite the shit show thrown his way. This was supposed to be a break, but it felt like as if he was working harder now than he ever had in his entire life. He was always trying to keep everybody else happy and satisfied. So much so, he felt as if he was losing bits of himself. 

His breakdowns only ever happened in front of Harry. He didn’t let the others see him upset. He was supposed to be the funny, lighthearted one, who cared too much about the world. He wasn’t supposed to be the one who broke down and couldn’t figure out how to deal with himself once the night hit and he was alone. 

During the day, he put on his happy face and showed the world how thrilled he was with his life. He would tweet about how excited he was about his family visiting or how he was looking forward to his footie match. He would scroll through on instagram and watch the other players prepping for the game. It really did make him happy. In fact, every tweet he sent out was 100% sincere. But, there was always that nagging voice in the back of his mind that made him think that he made all of the wrong decisions possible. 

He always thought that he fucked up his life. It was his life and everyone now thinks that they have the right to be in his life, even though they pretty much only knew about 5% of his life. 

They don’t know half of what goes on, and Louis hated that, and loved that at the same time. He loved that people don’t know most of his life, because it’s his life and he had some sort of privacy. On the other hand, he hated it, because _so_ many people judged him and made assumptions about his life that were not true. 

_So_ many. And Louis saw quite a few of those assumptions. Most of them hurt. He never wanted any part of it like this. 

Harry knew his internal conflict about all of this. Louis only told him, usually late at night, when his mind was running faster than the second hand on the clock. Louis only used to have a few of these episodes, but now the upset nights are far too frequent for either of their likings. 

When Louis signed up for X-Factor, it was for fun. He didn’t even think that he would make it past the first round. In fact, he almost didn’t. At times, he wished that he didn’t make it through. But, that thought was always fleeting, because he would have never met his four closest friends. He couldn’t imagine a life without them. 

What he could imagine a life without was the constant rumors and gossip. The constant pictures and blames. The constant accusations that he was a horrible person and that everyone in his life deserved better. The statements about how he was never good enough. 

There were, of course, countless posts saying how wonderful he was and how he deserved the fucking world. But, in all honesty, those that were the most accusatory overtook every single wonderful post he saw that day. Management always said not to look up his name online, but he always did, regardless of their instructions. Why would it matter if he did anyway? 

Louis rolled his body over in bed, allowing Harry to press his body against his comfortingly. There was a way about his warmth that soothed Louis. Harry always stroked his back and played with his hair. There was just too much going on in his life, but the few hours he got alone with Harry were always priceless. He felt so weightless, as if nothing mattered in the world. As if there was nothing wrong and everything was wonderful, that nobody was hurt, and that there was no drama. 

Alas, there was always drama. He always felt as if he let the fans down with everything going on in his life. There was so much denial and flat-out disrespect. It was almost as if nobody cared about his own feelings and as if they just wanted to keep reminding him how much he fucked up his life. He never would have thought his life would end up like this. The flashes, the fame, half of the fortune. None of it. He figured he would have been able to get a damn cup of coffee without being greeted with screams and stunned faces. Yes. Louis Tomlinson needs coffee to function daily, too. Sheesh. Surprise! Popstar drinks coffee! 

In fact, he doesn’t quite know what happened to himself. If someone had told him five years ago that he would have a girlfriend, a child, and an unhappy life, he would be awfully surprised. He still is surprised. And he hears shit about it way too much from people who aren't in his life. 

Louis’ eyes finally fell heavy. So far, he had been pressed against Harry for an hour, with Harry humming softly into his ear. Soothingly, nothing more. Harry knew his limits and what Louis needed during times like these. Louis just needed comfort. 

He really did — does, love his fans. He truly does. He would never change them for the world. He just wishes, at times, that they were a bit less forward and concerned about his life for the small reasons. He wishes that everything would just fall into place. If everything could just fucking fall into place, it would all make sense. He just wants everything to make sense and for everything to be good and for everyone to be happy. Alas, it is not like that. Soon, though. Hopefully, soon, everything will be nice and he can have a nice holiday and fans can be happy and everyone can relax. God, he hated seeing the fans fighting and picking sides over something as stupid as something involving him. There are bigger fights in the world that deserve to be focused on. He never saw that the fights were only trying to bring light to him — well, most of them. 

Some nights, he wished he would've gone back and changed everything. Other nights, he wouldn’t change a thing. 

Louis finally let his eyes close and let out a quiet sigh. 

“I hope one day you’re as happy as you’re pretending to be,” Harry said, quietly into Louis’ ear. Louis simply nodded. 

“And the same for you.” 

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, this was a prompt I found floating around on Tumblr.
> 
> Also, I'm trying to post 100 fics in 100 days, which I started on May 10. Feel free to send requests / comment requests. I'll try to do every comment.


End file.
